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{{bheader|February 15th|Devar/5768/Tetsaveh}}
  
 
Hi again!
 
Hi again!
  
Last week I had a close encounter with a recently sharpened knife.  During preparations for shabbat, I sliced off some of the skin on one of my fingers.  It started bleeding profusely, and I put on a bandage to stop the bleeding.  It didn't stop, so Esther decided to take me to a first-aid place.  We went at first to my clinic, but it was closed (this was 2pm on Friday afternoon).  So we went to [http://www.terem.com/default.htm Terem], which is the actual first-aid clinic.  It was also closed, the sign on the door stating they were closed from 2-6 on Fridays.  Since 6 was after shabbat started, I wouldn't have gone there unless I was really bleeding to death.  So I went to the ambulance place right next-door, to see if there was a medic on-duty.  There was, but he informed me that if he "saw me" he would have to take me by ambulance to Jerusalem, and it would cost me quite a bit.  Then he said, "well, let me take a look"So he did, and told me I didn't need stitches, and "hold on... here, take these bandages".  He then told me what I needed to do, and told me, "listen: I didn't do anything"... that is, officially!  By the way, the moral of the story is, "don't have an emergency in [[Maale Adummim]] between 2 and 6 on Friday".
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I have to preface this week's edition by telling you that, like [http://www.davebarry.com/ Dave Barry], I am not making ''any'' of this upMy imagination isn't that fertile, despite what you may think...
  
I let the bandage stay on over shabbat.  On Sunday, I tried to remove the bandage, but it was stuck to the wound.  So I cut around the stuck part, leaving me with a fashionable cloth flag attached to my skinThe next day I soaked the wound in warm water for forty minutes, but the stuck bandage remained.  Getting desperate, we called a friend of ours who is a doctor - and she removed the bandage (along with the scab; so the wound resumed its profuse bleeding)But - thank God - it's ok now...
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On Sunday, a collections agent from the city came to our house, and gave us a notice of "imminent collection", giving us 48 hours to settle our debt with the city before they return and repossess our belongings.  Of course, the debt they are talking about isn't  ours, but the previous renter's. We told the collector that, but he said that since we are in the house, we were the ones who had to pay up! So that afternoon Esther and I went to City Hall, to talk to the head of the department -- with whom we are now on a first-name basisAs we were waiting for him, the clerk (who also knows us on a first-name basis) motioned me over and asked if she could help us.  I explained the situation, and she said, "but that's not your debt!""Exactly", I told her, "which is why we're here now". She told me to hold on, while she called someone in the collections branch and gave them our landlord's address and phone. There is justice, after all.
  
To fully appreciate this, you need to know I've done woodworking for years, and am very familiar with razor-sharp tools.  I had just sharpened the knife, and was using it in an unsafe mannerWhile I was doing that, my internal dialog was going on: "''You know, what you're doing is dangerous''""Yes, but I'll be careful""''And if you cut yourself, it will be really painful''".  "Yes, but I'll be careful".  "''But you tell your kids not to use a knife the way you're doing''".  "Yes, but I'll be... '''OUCH!'''".  Sometimes I wonder where I stash my brain.  I guess I'm a cut above...
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That night, as we were at home trying to calm down (my blood-pressure was elevated for hours that day), we hear another knock on the door.  We open the door, and some guy starts speaking very quickly -- and all I understood was the first few words, "I'm here to collect ..."! Both Esther and I were pretty wiped out and asked him to repeat himself a couple timesFinally I understood that he was coming around to collect [http://www.israelnewsagency.com/israelwarcivildefense.html gas-masks]He was collecting them because they need to be recharged periodicallyWe don't have any, thoughSo the guy goes on, "oh, you're new immigrants? OK, bye.".  I guess we don't get gas-masks in case the {{wiki2|Scud|SCUDs}} start falling.
  
Good news: our mortgage paperwork is finally done, so now we have to get busy contacting contractors and figuring out exactly which of the many things we ''want'' to do, we can actually ''afford'' to doWe'll keep you appraised as things progress.
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In further bizarre news, Daniela reports that her school has cats in the ceiling of the beit-midrash (study hall).  Somehow they crawl into the suspended ceilings and can't get out.  Because they can't get out, they meow and sound like human babies trapped in the ceilingSo the maintenance people managed to trap some of them and remove them, but alas! the smell remains.
  
Rare sight: man driving while prayingEsther saw a man driving the other day, wearing tsitsit and tefillin, holding his siddur and praying as he was drivingI guess he wasn't aware that both driving and praying require one's full attention. I wonder where he stashed ''his'' brain!?
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Even more bizarre is that the Arabs [http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1202742144027&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull expect us to protect them] from a nuclear IranExcuse me?  We have a government which can't even protect its own citizens from two-bit thugs with model-rocket building skills.  Well, now there is a truly [http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1202657415879&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull proportional response] being discussedLet's hope the citizens of Sderot take the advice.
  
Most of you are probably familiar by now with the {{wiki|Winograd Commission}}What you may not know is that one of the Hareidi online newspapers<sup>1</sup>  [http://www.ladaat.net/article.php?do=viewarticle&articleid=2113 airbrushed out] (notice the empty chair in the picture?) [http://web.mscc.huji.ac.il/law/segel/gavison/index.html Prof. Ruth Gavison] due to modesty concerns.  There are a couple problems, though.  First, Professor Gavison is (no offense) quite unattractive, and I would wonder at someone who found a blurry picture of her enticing. Second, the airbrush artist left her (bare) hand on the table. And as we know, our Sages said it is forbidden even to look at the little finger of a woman.  So the airbrushing didn't even fulfill its purpose -- it left her most attractive feature in the picture.
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Some of you may think my approach to the "fakestinian" conflict is extremeThis week Esther pointed me to [http://bogieworks.blogs.com/treppenwitz/2008/02/and-that-your-h.html this blog].  I couldn't have said it better, he almost duplicated my thoughts.  Despite it all, [http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/Flash.aspx/141297 peace may be possible] - if only Hamas, Hizbullah, Iran, Syria ... will let such people continue to breathe.
  
Not to be outdone in the modesty department, there is a group of [http://muqata.blogspot.com/2007/12/this-aint-your-bubbys-burka.html women in Beit Shemesh] who have decided that burkas work for Jews as well.  I'm not sure which of these two stories is more alarming, maybe you can tell me?
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On the more sane front, the company I work for is presenting in [http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?c=JPArticle&cid=1202742134959&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull Barcelona at the 3GSM conference].  Well, by now I guess it's "has presented".  Hopefully good things will come of it.
  
More good news: we finally got gas! The gas company delivered on Monday, which surprised me since they were supposed to have had an inspector come by firstOn Wednesday we got a call from them, saying that an inspector would be coming on Thursday, between 9 and 11 in the morningWe told them there wouldn't be anyone at home then, but they showed up anyway and were irate no-one was home.   Anyway, the inspector showed up last night, and after a protracted session finally agreed to give a permit for the installation. A few things need to be fixed,  but at least we're cooking with gas now!  B"H!!
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B"H, I've managed to keep my fingers away from sharp objects, even though I did do a manly "repair job" this week. The gas inspector had told me the gas feed in the kitchen had to be below the level of the electrical outlet there.  He said I could do it myselfThis involves bending thin-walled copper tubing so that instead of pointing straight up, it turns 180 degrees so the valve end is below the electrical outletThose of you who have bent this sort of tubing know that it likes to kink rather than bend, and if it kinks it usually cracks as well. Fortunately, I was able to bend it (around a small can as a form to keep it from kinking) and the repair was done without necessitating professional assistance.
  
This week we took in a movie at the movie-theater for the first time since we made aliyahIt's just as expensive as in the US, but people here earn less, so it's ''really'' expensive (or perhaps that theater was more expensive).  We got popcorn, and I nearly fainted at the price; but we ventured bravely forthThere were only five other people in the theater (which could have held about 200), so that explains why the tickets are so costly.  Or maybe the ticket cost explains why the theater was empty.  Anyway, half way through the movie, the film stopped abruptly and the house-lights came upIntermission!  I don't remember the last time I was in a theater that had intermission during a regular movie. Anyway, the movie was ok, but I'm not going to be repeating the experience any time soon.
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This past week, a couple of the major supermarkets are having a "price war", where the price of chicken is 82 agorot a kiloWe're paying 22 shekels, or almost 27 ''times'' that amount.  Well, that's for fresh chicken with a specific ''hechsher'' (kashrut authorisation), but it's still kind of a lotActually, it amounts to about $2.76 a pound, which isn't too bad really.  Anyway, I mentioned this to the butcher we buy our chicken from, and he asked me what I do for a living.  I told him, and he said, "I've got this computer that's not working...".  Who knows?  Maybe we'll get a discount if I can fix his computer... like I said, I'm not making ''any'' of this up.
  
 
Shabbat shalom!
 
Shabbat shalom!
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<sup>1</sup> No, I didn't know there were Hareidi online papers either.
 
  
  
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Latest revision as of 13:27, 22 February 2008

February 15th (See this week's devar torah)
Send Ron feedback on this blog

Hi again!

I have to preface this week's edition by telling you that, like Dave Barry, I am not making any of this up. My imagination isn't that fertile, despite what you may think...

On Sunday, a collections agent from the city came to our house, and gave us a notice of "imminent collection", giving us 48 hours to settle our debt with the city before they return and repossess our belongings. Of course, the debt they are talking about isn't ours, but the previous renter's. We told the collector that, but he said that since we are in the house, we were the ones who had to pay up! So that afternoon Esther and I went to City Hall, to talk to the head of the department -- with whom we are now on a first-name basis. As we were waiting for him, the clerk (who also knows us on a first-name basis) motioned me over and asked if she could help us. I explained the situation, and she said, "but that's not your debt!". "Exactly", I told her, "which is why we're here now". She told me to hold on, while she called someone in the collections branch and gave them our landlord's address and phone. There is justice, after all.

That night, as we were at home trying to calm down (my blood-pressure was elevated for hours that day), we hear another knock on the door. We open the door, and some guy starts speaking very quickly -- and all I understood was the first few words, "I'm here to collect ..."! Both Esther and I were pretty wiped out and asked him to repeat himself a couple times. Finally I understood that he was coming around to collect gas-masks. He was collecting them because they need to be recharged periodically. We don't have any, though. So the guy goes on, "oh, you're new immigrants? OK, bye.". I guess we don't get gas-masks in case the SCUDs start falling.

In further bizarre news, Daniela reports that her school has cats in the ceiling of the beit-midrash (study hall). Somehow they crawl into the suspended ceilings and can't get out. Because they can't get out, they meow and sound like human babies trapped in the ceiling. So the maintenance people managed to trap some of them and remove them, but alas! the smell remains.

Even more bizarre is that the Arabs expect us to protect them from a nuclear Iran. Excuse me? We have a government which can't even protect its own citizens from two-bit thugs with model-rocket building skills. Well, now there is a truly proportional response being discussed. Let's hope the citizens of Sderot take the advice.

Some of you may think my approach to the "fakestinian" conflict is extreme. This week Esther pointed me to this blog. I couldn't have said it better, he almost duplicated my thoughts. Despite it all, peace may be possible - if only Hamas, Hizbullah, Iran, Syria ... will let such people continue to breathe.

On the more sane front, the company I work for is presenting in Barcelona at the 3GSM conference. Well, by now I guess it's "has presented". Hopefully good things will come of it.

B"H, I've managed to keep my fingers away from sharp objects, even though I did do a manly "repair job" this week. The gas inspector had told me the gas feed in the kitchen had to be below the level of the electrical outlet there. He said I could do it myself. This involves bending thin-walled copper tubing so that instead of pointing straight up, it turns 180 degrees so the valve end is below the electrical outlet. Those of you who have bent this sort of tubing know that it likes to kink rather than bend, and if it kinks it usually cracks as well. Fortunately, I was able to bend it (around a small can as a form to keep it from kinking) and the repair was done without necessitating professional assistance.

This past week, a couple of the major supermarkets are having a "price war", where the price of chicken is 82 agorot a kilo. We're paying 22 shekels, or almost 27 times that amount. Well, that's for fresh chicken with a specific hechsher (kashrut authorisation), but it's still kind of a lot. Actually, it amounts to about $2.76 a pound, which isn't too bad really. Anyway, I mentioned this to the butcher we buy our chicken from, and he asked me what I do for a living. I told him, and he said, "I've got this computer that's not working...". Who knows? Maybe we'll get a discount if I can fix his computer... like I said, I'm not making any of this up.

Shabbat shalom!




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