Devar/5769/Chayei Sarah
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עברית
כִּי אֶל-אַרְצִי וְאֶל-מוֹלַדְתִּי, תֵּלֵךְ; וְלָקַחְתָּ אִשָּׁה, לִבְנִי לְיִצְחָק (בראשית כד:ג,ד)
English
thou shalt not take a wife for my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell
But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife for my son, even for Isaac. (Gen 24:3,4)
Abraham commands his servant Eliezer to find a wife for his son. And he makes him swear an oath that he will find a wife specifically from the land of Abraham's birth, and not from among the women of the land of Canaan.
It is difficult to understand: Abraham lives in peace in Canaan, and indeed he has covenants with Aner, Eshcol and Mamre -- so his reason cannot have anything to do with enmity. And were it because the local residents are idolators, all of Abraham's family are idolators!
Rather, he knows that if he takes a wife for his son from the Canaanites, it will be difficult to wean her away from idolatry and lead her to the true faith, because all her neighbors are idolators who worship in a way she is familiar. Whereas a woman from Abrahams ancestral home will not find friends who worship the idols with which she is familiar, in Canaan, and so it will be much easier to lead her on the right path.
Why does he worry so much about a proper wife for his son? The midrash explains: It is not good (Gen 2:18): Rabbi Yaaqov taught, 'Whoever does not have a wife, dwells without goodness, without help, without happiness, without blessing and without atonement' Midrash Rabba Bereshit 17:2 -- and see the rest of the midrash there. Abraham knows that his son will require a "helpmate", and only a proper wife will help him as required.
From here we learn how important a good and proper match is, and to what extent one must exert himself to find a "helpmate".
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